
Starting the Conversation: 12 Estate Planning Questions to Ask Clients

Estate planning is one of the most important conversations you’ll have with your clients, yet it’s often one of the most overlooked. While many people think estate planning is simply about filling out forms and signing documents, the reality is far more nuanced. True estate planning begins with understanding what your clients truly value and ensuring their deepest wishes are reflected in their plan.
The key to successful estate planning lies in asking the right questions during that crucial initial consultation to help you understand not just your client’s financial situation, but their hopes, fears, and long-term goals for their loved ones. When you take the time to explore these fundamental areas, you can prevent future complications and create a smoother, more personalized planning experience.
The questions outlined below bring structure and clarity to the estate planning process, ensuring you capture all the information necessary to craft a comprehensive plan that truly serves your client’s needs.
1. What are your primary goals for estate planning?
Before diving into the technical aspects of wills and trusts, you need to understand what your client hopes to achieve. Estate planning goals vary dramatically from person to person. Some prioritize providing financial security for their family, while others focus on minimizing tax burdens or leaving a lasting legacy through charitable giving.
Understanding these primary motivations shapes every subsequent decision in the estate planning process. A client whose main goal is funding their grandchildren’s education, for example, will need different tools than someone focused on preserving a family business or supporting their favorite charity.
Setting clear goals early helps focus the entire plan and guides your selection of appropriate estate planning tools, whether that’s a simple will, complex trust structures, life insurance policies, or charitable giving strategies.
2. Who would you like to serve as your executor or trustee?
The person chosen to serve as executor of a will or trustee of a trust will play a pivotal role in your client’s estate plan. This individual will be responsible for managing assets, making distributions, and ensuring the plan is executed according to your client’s wishes. Serving as an executor requires both trustworthiness and organizational skills, as it can be time-consuming and emotionally challenging.
When helping clients make this choice, consider factors like the person’s age, proximity to the family, financial acumen, and ability to handle potentially difficult family dynamics. The ideal candidate should be someone who can remain objective while managing what may be emotionally charged situations among beneficiaries.
This decision is so important that it’s worth discussing backup options as well, since circumstances can change over time.
3. Have you identified your beneficiaries?
Clear beneficiary identification is the foundation of any estate plan. Your clients need to think carefully about who will receive their assets, whether these beneficiaries are family members, friends, charitable organizations, or a combination of all three.
Properly naming beneficiaries ensures assets are distributed according to your client’s wishes and significantly reduces the potential for family disputes after their passing. This question also opens the door to discussing contingent beneficiaries; what happens if a primary beneficiary predeceases your client?
Remind clients that beneficiary designations should be reviewed and updated regularly, especially after major life events like marriages, divorces, births, or deaths in the family.
4. Do you have minor children or dependents?
For clients with minor children, elderly parents, or other dependents, this question becomes absolutely critical. Estate planning must address both who will care for these dependents and how they’ll be financially supported.
Guardian nomination is a deeply personal decision that requires careful consideration of the potential guardian’s values, parenting style, financial stability, and willingness to take on this responsibility. Many clients also choose to establish trusts to ensure their dependents are cared for financially without burdening the guardian with additional financial stress.
Don’t forget to discuss what happens if the chosen guardian is unable or unwilling to serve when the time comes. Backup guardians are just as important as primary choices.
5. Do you have any specific wishes for your healthcare?
Healthcare directives are often overlooked in estate planning discussions, but they’re absolutely essential. Living wills and durable powers of attorney for healthcare ensure that your client’s medical wishes are followed if they become incapacitated and cannot speak for themselves.
These documents provide peace of mind that decisions about life support, medical treatment, and end-of-life care will align with your client’s values and preferences. Without clear healthcare directives, family members may face agonizing decisions without guidance, potentially leading to confusion, conflict, or costly legal battles.
Encourage clients to have detailed conversations with their chosen healthcare agents about their wishes, as these discussions are just as important as the formal documents themselves.
6. What are your major assets and debts?
Effective estate planning requires a comprehensive understanding of your client’s financial picture. This includes not just assets like real estate, bank accounts, and investments, but also business interests, personal property, and outstanding debts.
Creating a complete inventory allows you to determine the most efficient ways to distribute assets while minimizing taxes and avoiding legal complications. It also helps identify potential liquidity issues; for instance, if most of the estate’s value is tied up in real estate or a family business, how will estate taxes and other expenses be paid?
Don’t overlook smaller assets that may have significant sentimental value, as these often require special consideration in the estate plan.
7. Do you have any charitable causes you would like to support?
Many clients find deep satisfaction in leaving a philanthropic legacy, but they may not realize the various ways estate planning can facilitate charitable giving. Whether through direct bequests, charitable remainder trusts, or establishing a private foundation, numerous strategies can benefit both the charity and the client’s tax situation.
Charitable giving through estate planning can provide significant tax benefits while allowing clients to support causes they care about. Some clients may want to involve their family in charitable decision-making, creating opportunities for shared values and family bonding around giving.
Even clients who haven’t previously considered charitable giving may be interested once they understand the potential impact and benefits.
8. How would you like to handle the distribution of your digital assets?
In our increasingly digital world, many clients have significant online assets that are often overlooked in traditional estate planning. Social media accounts, digital photos, online banking, cryptocurrency, and other digital assets need specific attention and planning.
The complexity of digital asset management often surprises clients. Each platform has different policies for handling deceased users’ accounts, and accessing these assets can be complicated without proper planning, making it essential to designate a digital executor and provide clear instructions for accessing and managing online accounts.
Consider creating a digital asset inventory that includes account information, passwords (stored securely), and specific instructions for how each type of digital asset should be handled.
9. Do you want to minimize estate taxes?
While not every estate will be subject to federal estate taxes, tax planning remains an important consideration for many clients. Various strategies can be employed to minimize estate taxes, including lifetime gifting, charitable contributions, and different types of trust structures.
Tax-efficient estate planning ensures that more of your client’s wealth passes to their intended beneficiaries rather than to the government. However, it’s important to balance tax savings with your client’s other goals. Sometimes the most tax-efficient strategy doesn’t align with their personal values or family circumstances.
Keep in mind that tax laws change regularly, so estate plans should be reviewed periodically to ensure they remain optimal under current regulations.
10. What are your wishes for your funeral or final arrangements?
While it may feel uncomfortable to discuss funeral arrangements, addressing these preferences is an important gift to your client’s loved ones. Clear instructions about burial, cremation, funeral services, and other end-of-life arrangements prevent family members from having to make difficult decisions during an already emotional time.
These preferences can be included in a letter of instruction or incorporated into the will itself. Some clients have very specific wishes about their funeral service, while others prefer to give their family flexibility in making arrangements.
Consider discussing whether the client wants to pre-fund their funeral arrangements, which can provide additional peace of mind and financial planning benefits.
11. Have you considered long-term care and incapacity planning?
The statistics on long-term care needs are sobering. Most people will require some form of long-term care during their lifetime. Planning for potential incapacity through illness or injury is a crucial component of comprehensive estate planning.
Long-term care insurance, health savings accounts, and specific trust structures can help protect assets while ensuring quality care is available when needed. This planning provides peace of mind for both the client and their family, knowing that funds will be available for care whether at home, in assisted living, or in a nursing home.
Incapacity planning also includes ensuring someone has the legal authority to make financial and healthcare decisions if your client becomes unable to do so themselves.
12. Do you have an existing estate plan to review or update?
For clients who already have estate planning documents, regular reviews and updates are essential. Life changes constantly; marriages, divorces, births, deaths, changes in financial circumstances, and evolving family relationships can all impact the effectiveness of an existing plan.
An outdated estate plan can sometimes be worse than no plan at all, as it may not reflect current wishes or circumstances. Major life events should trigger an estate plan review, but even in the absence of significant changes, plans should be reviewed every few years to ensure they remain current and effective.
During these reviews, it’s also important to confirm that beneficiary designations on retirement accounts, insurance policies, and other assets align with the overall estate plan.
Start the estate planning conversation with clients today
These 12 questions provide a comprehensive framework for beginning meaningful estate planning conversations with your clients. By addressing each of these areas, you ensure that the planning process is thorough, efficient, and truly personalized to each client’s unique situation and goals.
Remember that estate planning is not a one-time event but an ongoing process that evolves with your clients’ lives. Regular check-ins and updates ensure that their plans continue to serve their changing needs and circumstances.
The foundation of excellent estate planning lies in asking the right questions and truly listening to the answers. When you take the time to understand what your clients value most, you can create plans that provide not just legal protection, but genuine peace of mind.
Ready to streamline your estate planning process and manage client information more efficiently? Learn more about Vanilla.
Published: Jul 23, 2025
Holistic wealth management starts here
Join thousands of advisors who use Vanilla to transform their service offering and accelerate revenue growth.