Mine, Yours, and Ours: Estate Planning for the Wedding Season

May is prime wedding season. More couples marry this month than any other and this concentration of celebration creates a natural opening for financial advisors. Couples marking a major commitment are uniquely receptive to thinking about their shared future, including the financial one. 

That future is more consequential than ever. The U.S. is in the early stages of the largest wealth transfer in history, with an estimated $124 trillion moving between generations through 2048. But before that wealth reaches the next generation, it will first move horizontally with approximately $54 trillion expected to pass to surviving spouses. How wealth is structured during a marriage will determine how well it survives both stages.

Advisors who lean into this moment can deepen relationships with both spouses, establish direct connectivity with the partner who may be less engaged in financial decisions, and lay the groundwork for estate plans that actually reflect a couple’s shared goals.

Getting the foundation right with “mine, yours, and ours”

Before any trust strategy or tax planning makes sense, couples need clarity on how their assets are actually owned. This is the balance sheet conversation, and it matters for every couple.

How property is titled: what every couple should know

The way an asset is titled determines what happens to it at death, who can access it during life, and whether it passes through probate. Here’s a practical summary of the most common ownership structures:

Ownership Type	Equal Interests?	Automatic Transfer at Death?	Passes To	Notes
Outright (Individual)	N/A — one owner	No	Decedent’s estate or per beneficiary designation	Full control; included 100% in gross estate
Joint Tenancy with Rights of Survivorship (JTWROS)	Yes	Yes	Surviving joint tenant(s)	Simple, common; included ~50% in gross estate
Tenancy by the Entirety	Yes	Yes	Surviving spouse	Spouses only; some creditor protection in certain states
Tenancy in Common (TIC)	No — each owns a defined share	No	Decedent’s estate	Flexible ownership splits; each share follows owner’s estate plan
Community Property	Yes — 50/50	No (often)	Decedent’s estate	Available in 9 states + opt-in states; powerful basis step-up benefit
Community Property with Rights of Survivorship	Yes — 50/50	Yes	Surviving spouse	Combines step-up benefit with automatic transfer

 

The community property advantage: In community property states (Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin), both halves of jointly owned property receive a full step-up in cost basis at the first death, not just the deceased spouse’s half. That can mean significant capital gains tax savings for a surviving spouse who later sells appreciated assets. Several non-community-property states (including Alaska, South Dakota, Tennessee, Kentucky, and Florida) allow couples to opt in through a community property trust.

Practical advisor tip: Walk new couples through each asset on their balance sheet and confirm how it’s titled. For established couples, this is a valuable audit. Titling mismatches are one of the most common and most easily corrected estate planning oversights.

A note on funding trusts: Creating a revocable living trust is only half the work. Assets must be retitled into the trust (or name the trust as beneficiary) to avoid probate and ensure the trust actually controls those assets at death. A house that stays in individual name, or a brokerage account never transferred to the trust, has to go through probate before it can be distributed. For couples who have created or are creating trusts, confirming that trusts are properly funded is as important as the estate plan itself.

Beneficiary designations: the other half of the titling conversation

Titling tells you what happens to most assets at death, but for accounts that pass by beneficiary designation (retirement accounts, IRAs, life insurance, annuities, and brokerage accounts with TOD designations), the designation overrides the will and the trust. A surviving spouse removed from an IRA beneficiary form after a prior marriage, or a trust that was never named after it was created, can upend an otherwise well-structured plan.

The review checklist for every couple:

• Are primary and contingent beneficiaries named on all accounts?
• Do they align with the couple’s current intentions and overall estate plan?
• If a trust has been created, does it need to be named as beneficiary — and if so, is the trust drafted to receive those assets properly (particularly for retirement accounts, where the rules are specific)?

Practical advisor tip: Beneficiary designations are often set once and forgotten. For new couples, this is a required first step. For established clients, it’s one of the most common places to find gaps.

When the estate is taxable, titling is just the start

For many couples, getting titling right is the entire planning conversation, a meaningful outcome on its own. But for those with combined estates approaching or exceeding $15 million per individual ($30 million per couple), the discussion extends further. The goal: transferring wealth to the next generation while minimizing estate taxes, without requiring clients to give up all access to those assets or impacting their desired lifestyle. 

Three planning strategies are especially worth knowing and each serves a different purpose.

1. Spousal Lifetime Access Trust (SLAT)

Best for: Clients who want to make a lifetime gift to use their exemption now, but aren’t ready to fully let go of the assets.

In a SLAT, one spouse (the donor) makes an irrevocable gift into a trust for the benefit of the other spouse. The assets leave the donor’s taxable estate, locking in the current exemption, but because the beneficiary spouse can receive distributions of income and principal, the couple retains indirect access to those funds.

At the death of both spouses, all remaining assets including appreciation pass to named beneficiaries completely free of estate tax. The earlier the gift is made, the more appreciation is sheltered.

One important caveat: The strategy depends on the marriage remaining intact. Divorce or the early death of the beneficiary spouse eliminates the donor’s indirect access to those funds. For couples who want both spouses protected, dual SLATs are an option with each spouse creating a SLAT naming the other as beneficiary. This requires careful drafting to avoid the IRS’s reciprocal trust doctrine which can invalidate both trusts if they are deemed substantially identical. Differences in trustees, distribution terms, and other material provisions are essential.

2. Credit Shelter Trust (Bypass Trust)

Best for: Maximizing both spouses’ exemptions at death, sheltering appreciation, and protecting assets from the surviving spouse’s future creditors or a potential remarriage.

A Credit Shelter Trust (also called a bypass trust or family trust) is funded at the first spouse’s death with assets up to that spouse’s remaining exemption, up to $15 million. Those assets, and all future appreciation, are permanently removed from the surviving spouse’s taxable estate. When the surviving spouse later dies, the trust passes to beneficiaries estate tax-free.

Unlike simply relying on portability (which transfers the deceased spouse’s unused exemption to the survivor), a Credit Shelter Trust also shelters all post-death appreciation which is a meaningful difference for clients with growing portfolios or appreciating real estate.

Additional benefits include creditor protection, probate avoidance, and the first spouse’s ability to direct how trust assets ultimately pass which is particularly valuable in blended families.

One important caveat: The surviving spouse does not have unlimited access to the trust principal. They can receive income and may draw on principal for health, education, and maintenance needs but full control remains with the trustee.

A note on basis: Assets in a Credit Shelter Trust don’t receive a step-up in cost basis at the surviving spouse’s death. That creates a tradeoff: sheltering appreciation from estate tax versus preserving a future basis reset. Which assets fund the trust matters — highly appreciated assets may be better candidates for outright transfer to the surviving spouse, where a second step-up remains possible.

3. Marital Trust (QTIP Trust)

Best for: Providing income for a surviving spouse while controlling where assets ultimately go especially in second marriages or blended families.

A Marital Trust (often structured as a Qualified Terminable Interest Property, or QTIP, trust) is funded at the first death and qualifies for the unlimited marital deduction, meaning no estate tax is due at the first spouse’s death. The surviving spouse receives income from the trust for life and may have limited access to principal.

The Marital Trust’s value is in control and income, not tax elimination. The first spouse can specify exactly who receives the remaining assets after the surviving spouse dies, preventing assets from passing to a new spouse or unintended heirs.

One important distinction from the Credit Shelter Trust: Unlike a Credit Shelter Trust, assets in a Marital Trust are included in the surviving spouse’s taxable estate at their death, along with any appreciation since the first death. This means estate taxes may be due at the second death depending on the size of the estate and available exemptions.

Putting it together: the AB trust strategy

Many estate plans combine a Credit Shelter Trust (“Trust B”) and a Marital Trust (“Trust A”) into what’s known as an AB Trust strategy. At the first death, assets up to the exemption fund the bypass trust (sheltered from all future estate tax), while excess assets fund the marital trust (deferred via the marital deduction). Together, a married couple can effectively deploy up to $30 million in combined exemptions across both trusts to protect wealth for the next generation.

	SLAT	Credit Shelter Trust	Marital Trust
When funded	During lifetime	At first death	At first death
Tax treatment	Removes assets from donor’s estate now	Shelters assets + appreciation from surviving spouse’s estate	Deferred via marital deduction; taxable at second death
Spouse’s access	Broad: income and principal distributions	Limited: income and health/education/maintenance	Income for life; limited principal access
Appreciation sheltered?	Yes	Yes	No, included in second estate
Best use case	Lifetime exemption planning with flexibility	Maximize both exemptions; protect against remarriage/creditors	Income for survivor; control over ultimate distribution

 

How Vanilla helps advisors bring this to life

Understanding these strategies conceptually is one thing though showing clients real numbers is what moves them to act. Vanilla gives advisors the tools to do exactly that, all in one place.

Build and confirm the balance sheet

Start with a complete, accurate picture of what a couple owns and how it’s titled. Vanilla’s Balance Sheet lets advisors input every asset (investments, real estate, business interests, personal property, and more) and assign the correct ownership type for each one (JTWROS, TIC, individual, etc.). For new couples, this is the foundation. For established clients, it’s a valuable audit that often surfaces titling mismatches that need to be corrected before any planning can begin.

Project how assets grow over time

Once the balance sheet is established, Vanilla’s projection tools let advisors model how the estate is likely to grow over time by factoring in assumed growth rates across the portfolio. This helps clients visualize not just where they are today, but where they’re headed, and whether their current plan will keep pace with their growing wealth. Seeing a projected estate value 15 or 20 years into the future is often the moment clients realize the importance of acting now.

Model trust strategies to understand impact

Model SLATs, Credit Shelter Trusts, Marital Trusts, or combinations side by side with Vanilla Scenarios™ by entering key inputs including transfer amounts, growth rates, grantor trust status, and income tax treatment. Then with the visual comparison showing projected estate tax savings and net-to-heirs, analyze the potential impact with and without the strategy.

Together, these tools move the conversation from “here’s what you own and how it’s titled” to “here’s what your estate could look like in 20 years” in a single client meeting.

The May opportunity

Spring weddings and vow renewals aren’t just celebrations, they’re inflection points. Couples are naturally thinking about the future, about shared goals, about what they’re building together. Advisors who show up in that moment with a clear, organized framework for “mine, yours, and ours” build the kind of trust that lasts well beyond any single financial plan.

Get both spouses in the room. The planning conversations you have this May will shape what your practice looks like when those transfers happen.

The information provided here does not constitute legal, financial, or tax advice. It is provided for general informational purposes only. This information may not be updated or reflect changes in law. Please consult with an estate attorney, financial advisor, or tax professional who can advise as to your particular situation.